Rick Osborn | Life Coach, Nutrition, Fitness & Graphic Designer

Before I begin elaborating on how to “map” your way out of the fog of frustration, pain, worry, problems, etc., let’s reiterate where you should be at this point.

First of all, if you’ve been following my advice, you should be standing at the the helm of your ship, holding the wheel in your hands, eyes fixed on the horizon and ready to steer in the right direction. If this image isn’t working for you, let me just state it plainly - because in order to move forward, you need to fully accept the following truths about yourself:

1. Your life is your own.
2. You are responsible for yourself.
3. You have the power to change.

If you can wholeheartedly agree with the above three things, then you can definitely move forward. You now have control of your ship and you’re ready to sail to the promised land. But, if you can’t accept the above three truths, then you need to stop and reevaluate, because you’re not going anywhere. My advice - quit blaming everyone else for your problems and take responsibility for yourself. Being a victim will NOT get you what you want in this life, so let’s move past that. I could write volumes about victimization, but trust me here - always being the victim is not a healthy way to live your life. It may get you some of what you want, but you’ll never be happy playing the victim card. Quite frankly, playing the role of “victim” is surrendering to the life of a loser. So, if you’re doing it, even a little bit, stop it now before it ruins your life or somebody else’s.

My mom is a smart person. For as long as I can remember, she’s had this little saying that has stuck with me. When I was younger, it didn’t mean much, but as I’ve matured, it’s come to mean everything. Would you like to know what her little piece of advice is?

Life is what you make of it.

Did you catch that? Are you listening? That one statement basically sums up everything that I’ve been saying. It may seem like an oversimplification, but it’s overwhelmingly true. All three of those truths I listed above are wrapped up in this one little statement - “life is what you make of it.” And, no matter what your circumstance may be, no matter what storm is swirling in your life, no matter how poor, how unhappy, how sick, how frustrated, how much someone has hurt you - you need to remember, your life will NEVER be anything more or anything less than what YOU make of it.

Okay, meditate on the above. It’s a big chunk to chew on, but it will definitely get your ship moving in the right direction at this point.

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If you’ve been following my train of thought throughout my last couple of posts, you should now have a clear image of yourself standing at the helm of your ship, holding that wheel with both hands, ready to steer yourself in the right direction. You are the captain of your ship.

Now, if we’re completely honest with ourselves and use careful introspection (looking deep within), we will all admit that we know, somehow, the difference between right and wrong. I think in our heart of hearts and in the deep recesses of our minds, there is a small voice, whispering the truth to us. The problem is that many of us, on a fairly regular basis, tend to listen to that ever so small voice only when it’s convenient. And some of us don’t even listen to it at all. Unfortunately, this can lead to trouble - you know when we make up our own rules and don’t have any clear, preplanned design for what we should do or where we should be. If you have mounting problems over which you feel like you have no control - this may be exactly what’s been happening to you. Keep reading!

A lack of vision or focus keeps our ship (life) in the fog (confusion), seizes any control that we have over our ship (life) and keeps us meandering through rough seas with no land (solution) in sight.

In other words, if you have no focus or vision, chances are you’re not going to find a way out of your situation. If this is you and you’re ready to move forward, change course and redirect your ship (life), then what you need now is a map - and not just any old map, but the right one.

Before I go any further, I’m going to suggest a couple of things for you to do that will help you focus and find your way:

1. Meditate in the morning. Spend some time alone, inside or outside, but in a quiet place, and ask God to give you guidance. I don’t care whether or not you are religious or know how to pray - just trust me on this one. Now is where you need Divine guidance, so ask for it. Meditate on it. Confess your issues, problems, sins, frustrations or whatever you want to call them - to God and ask for guidance. Admitting our weakness and accepting His forgiveness, strength and wisdom is a good thing. It will empower and encourage you to do what needs to be done. And as the saying goes, “if God is for us, then who can be against us.”
2. Write every day. I don’t care if you’re a bad speller or if you hate writing or whatever your lame excuse may be, again, this is your life we’re talking about. If you want to get it right, then start writing. You don’t have to write a book or anything - just jot down some things that you’d like to accomplish over the next few weeks. In fact, break it down if you like. Again, this can be a visualization type of exercise. Make a time line if you want. Write down positive things (things that will get your ship moving in the right direction) that you want to achieve today, this week, in a month, by the end of the year, etc. It’s not an exhaustive list, but you need to start seeing yourself as moving out of your current bad circumstance(s) and into the place where you want to be. Furthermore, you need to figure out exactly what it is that you want. A lot of us never move out of our current misery because we don’t know where we want to actually go. This exercise will help you figure that out.
3. Rinse and Repeat. Practice the above two things and you’ll start to see some interesting and exciting things start to take place in your life. You’re going to be surprised what you’re going to learn about yourself.

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Ok, so let’s take things a bit further. I know we talk about taking baby steps when we’re doing something difficult and trying to go from point A to point B. But, this is your life we’re talking about. It’s the only one you have and you had better make the best of it, otherwise, you’ll wake up in a nursing home (if you’re lucky enough to live that long) and wonder what in the world happened to my life. Hey, I’m 40 years old now and I’m already wondering it, so imagine what it must be like to have senioritis.

My point is this - none of us have the luxury of waiting to be or do what we’ve always dreamed about being or doing.

In case you haven’t noticed, time is not on our side. The key is, we must do it now.

If you followed the four points in my previous post, you should now be standing on your ship with the control wheel in your hand. If you’ve been able to accomplish this, then you’re ready - ready to start living the life that you’ve wanted to live. It’s time to steer that ship of yours to the “promised land” - you know - the place where you’ve been wanting to be, but just haven’t yet been able to realize.

Ok, let’s stop here for a sec and clarify something. First off, if most of your life is already in order (you know, you make good money, you have a great job, home, family, etc. and you’re reasonably happy), then you may already have most things under control. But, if you’re like most people, there’s probably an area or two that just keeps tripping you up. Perhaps there’s something going on with you that you just can’t seem to overcome. Whatever your case may be, you can apply this “ship” principle to your particular issue or situation. Again, think of your life as the ship, and perhaps you’ve got some other captain (a nagging issue, problem or even a person) who’s standing at the wheel and taking you somewhere you don’t want or need to be. Now - not tomorrow - but NOW is the time to take the wheel back and return to the right course, before you end up so far away from where you should be, that it’s virtually impossible to get back.

You may be wondering why I keep dwelling on this “ship” or “boat” analogy as opposed to just talking about your life. Well, I’m hoping that in doing so, you’ll be able to separate yourself a bit from your life and look at what’s going on with you, objectively. If you can visualize what I’m talking about, then you can apply it directly to your own circumstance or existence. This brings up an important point:

Sometimes we get so caught up in the drama of our problems, that we become paralyzed and are unable to do anything about them.

We lose perspective in the cloud of our despair and fail to see the solution clearly. That’s why it is of utmost importance that you try to step outside of your life and see things through the eyes of a third party observer. Hence, the ship analogy. Furthermore, that’s why it’s often helpful to speak to someone wise outside of your circumstances who can help you clarify things a bit. That’s exactly what I do when I meet with people who are dealing with nagging issues.

Ok, so “baby steps”. I’ll keep pressing forward, so if you’re still with me here, you’re doing well. Hang on to that wheel and I’ll start to tell you next how you can find out where to steer your ship (life) from your current location.

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