Now I have a good understanding of what it takes to create a worthwhile piece of art (I’m a singer and also dabble in oil painting from time to time – so I know a thing or two about the creative process). Anyway, in my dream, I saw this artist – painting on a huge canvas, masterfully using colorful short, broad and chunky brush strokes, creating a glorious body of work for all the world to see. Unfortunately, I never got to see the finished piece, because I woke up before the painting was completed. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to see the final product. Nevertheless, the dream made a very strong impression on me, which motivated me to write this little blog.

My Dream Interpreted

As an executive wellness coach and holistic health practitioner, there always seems to be a plethora of altruistic, life changing thoughts and ideas swimming around in my head. This is due mainly to my desire and need to help people who seek me out for solutions and positive change in their lives. So, upon having this little “dream” (if you will), it became clear to me that I should write it down in hopes that its interpretation might inspire others.

So, here’s how I see it…

The Artist or Painter -represents you (and me). In other words, you (and I) are the one with the ability, the talent. You’re the painter, the doer, the artist – the one with the brush in his hand. You have control over what goes onto that Canvas.

The Brush – represents the choices and actions you make in life – how you choose to design, paint, and forge your way. The only means by which your canvas becomes a work of art (or garbage, for that matter) is how you use your brush to paint on it. Wrapped up in your choices and actions are everything from your career to relationships, spiritual decisions, how you exercise, etc. to the very nutrition that you provide for your body. All of these choices and actions determine the quality of your art (life and health).

The Palette and Paints – visually represent your talent, personality and expression. Combined with the Brush, proper use of color demonstrates your skill, ability, talent, and/or gifts to the world. Paints are full of color. Using color is how you leave your mark, showing the world who and what you are. When people view the art that you create, they see who you are because of a combination of colors and brush strokes. Your color choices and placement demonstrate what your painting is going to be. And what you paint either will inspire and motivate or repel and offend all who see it.

The Canvas – represents you, your world, your life – art or trash. It is yours to decide. What goes there on that canvas (in large part) is entirely up to you. It is your choice. Be careful what you paint on it. It is what the world will see with regards to you. It is what will be displayed before God and everyone else. It is the mark that you leave. It’s the influence (good or bad) that you will have.

I suppose my point here is this…

You are the Artist of your own life (the same applies to everyone) – to a great extent.

And, while there ARE things out of our control in life (our height, body type, skin color, sex, family of origin, health issues, the weather, economy, etc.), there ARE many, many things that we can create, control and determine for ourselves.

Unfortunately, many of us do not actively render and create Art out of our lives. We either let others determine that for us, or we unfortunately choose to carelessly make a mess on our canvas due to lack of care or consideration.

Points to Consider about your LIFE work of Art:

• You’re born with only ONE blank canvas.
• The choices and decisions you make (i.e. your brush strokes) apply the color to your canvas/life.
• Dried paint is permanent in life. It can’t be undone, so make sure you paint wisely and with intention.
• Remember, you can paint over mistakes, but the buildup (what’s underneath) is still going to be there.
• If you make a mistake in painting, figure out a way to use that mistake in your artwork – so that it has context and meaning in the big picture. And don’t wait too long or you’ll miss your chance.
• Sloppy and careless brush strokes and use of bad color are tough to cover up.
• Color fades over time. Make sure you reapply and touch up to keep things fresh.
• Creating good art requires perspective. Make sure you stand back from your canvas periodically to make sure that your brush strokes and use of color are becoming what you want to create. Failing to do this regularly will most likely result in a disappointing piece of work.

“The Magpie” – 1869 by Claude Monet

Perhaps you’re thinking that God is the Artist of our lives. I don’t deny this truth at all, in fact, I believe it wholeheartedly. Like I wrote before, there are many things in life that have already been predetermined for us. This is evident. And I believe that daily communion and inspiration from the Creator of all (God Himself) is of utmost importance to the endeavor of creating Artwork out of our lives. But for my purposes here, I want to emphasize that we are free agents who determine much of where we go and what we become in life.

With these things in mind, I leave you with the following thought…

Being the Artist of your life is empowering. It involves great responsibility (to ourselves as well as to how we impact others). Let’s all strive to be the best life artists that we can be, creating individual masterpieces that inspire all those who look upon the canvas of our lives.

Related posts:

1. Set Clear Goals for Success in Life
2. 6 Ways to Wellness During Difficulty

Let’s face it, we all have bad days. And sometimes those bad days can turn into bad weeks, bad months, and if we’re not careful, bad years. Before we know it, we can be sucked into a downward, overstressed spiral towards anxiety, depression or even worse. For some, this may seem too painful to even read, but if the truth is told, there are people hurting everywhere, whether it’s you or me, a family member or someone we know.

In the midst of crisis, heartache, misery or difficulty, it’s essential for us to take the right steps to maintain our sanity and wellbeing on a daily basis. In fact, it’s important for all of us, whether we’re feeling great, just okay or horrible, to make a habit of practicing wellness. It’s just good living.

Tips for Feeling Better Today

1. Do some Exercise. I’ve written about it over and over again, but the facts are clear. Exercise has amazing benefits for the body and the mind, like burning off the stress hormone cortisol, boosting seratonin in the brain and releasing endorphins to make us feel better. No excuse or amount of doubt is going to change that. A brisk 30 minute walk can do more for your blue perspective than sitting in misery, even if you don’t feel like it. If you want to start feeling better, get off your rear and do something!

2. Practice Relaxation. There is an amazing, calming benefit for the mind and body when you learn to relax effectively. Even if you take just a five-minute break away from the busyness of your day to be alone and quiet, you’ll reap the benefits of this soothing activity. Mark Hyman, in his “UltraMind Solution” book calls it “finding the pause button” – a designated time when our bodies heal, repair and renew during a state of purposeful relaxation. Try a relaxing hot bath in Epsom salts, lavender and baking soda.

3. Make Prayer a priority. There’s really no substitute for communing on a daily basis with the God of the universe. To me, prayer does just that. Many people think prayer and meditation are the same thing. They can certainly be combined, and from my Christian perspective, the two compliment one another. Check yourself daily and make sure that you’re tapping in to the joy, peace, power, strength and wisdom that come from knowing God intimately through prayer, just as King David did in Psalm 63.

4. Watch What You Eat. You may be having a tough time of it for any number of reasons, but bad eating will do nothing but make all of your problems worse. Sometimes in life there are things that are out of our control – what we eat is not one of them. In order to maintain good health during difficulty, it’s so important to eat well and stay focused on our nutrition. During tough times, we need every advantage. Healthy eating can make all the difference.

5. Learn to Laugh. Spend some time distracting yourself from life by doing something with a friend who will make you laugh. Watch a funny TV show or listen to something comical on the radio. Laughing, just like exercise, releases pain killing endorphins into the bloodstream, which is a natural way to feel better.

6. Get Inspired. When dealing with difficulty and feeling lost, lonely, afraid or depressed, it’s essential to find some inspiration. If we get too down, we can become hopeless – like a flat tire, in desperate need of a shot of air to start rolling smoothly again. One effective way to do this is to read something inspirational, such as the Bible, or a book that addresses your particular situation, one that provides you with some hope and solution for what’s plaguing you.

Often there’s no single magic bullet to feeling better. Sometimes it just takes time and distance for things to improve. No matter what the situation, it’s important to be proactive in the pursuit of wellness. When dealing with clients, I often find that many have a good grip on certain aspects of wellness, but fail to stay on top of some of the most basic things that keep us well. Learning to master the above tips will provide some much needed relief during difficulty or challenging times.

As always, feel free to contact me if you need some help practicing wellness. Also, feel free to leave a comment or question below.

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Over the past several years, I have spent a lot of time and effort studying the Bible, spirituality, self-help, various coaching methods, diets and nutrition in hopes of learning all I can to help my clients (and myself) achieve the best life possible. Ultimately, the overarching goal is to attain a long, healthy life of balance, success, happiness and fulfilment. The old saying, “the more I know, the more I realize I don’t yet know,” (or something like that) comes to mind. Nevertheless, as I continue to study these various lifestyle issues, one thing has become predominantly clear:

When it comes to balance and wellness, much of our health, happiness, success and longevity is determined by the choices we make in life. The simple fact is, our choices can make us or break us.

If I sound like a broken record here, that’s good! This is a point that should be well learned and reiterated throughout our lives. None of us is ever too far advanced in our spiritual walk or personal development to think that he or she is above making bad choices. The Scriptures state it well in 1 Cor. 10:12 -

“Therefore let anyone who thinks he stands [who feels sure that he has a steadfast mind and is standing firm], take heed lest he fall [into sin].”

The issue of making good choices is one that I find myself constantly having to hammer home with my clients, no matter what their troubling issue or crisis may be.

On a Practical Note. . .

As an executive wellness coach, much of what I do concerns helping my clients make right choices in the above areas to find BALANCE. Today, let’s all make a point to energize our lives by making the best choices surrounding the above areas.

And, as always, if there’s mystery concerning what these best choices or practices are, consider hiring a COACH, or at least do some research for yourself to figure it out.

Life is too short NOT to squeeze out our BEST while we still have ample opportunity.

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I hear it all the time, in the midst of my coaching sessions…

If I had only…

I wish I hadn’t…

Why didn’t I just…

You fill in the blanks. We’re all guilty of it – wishing we’d done this or that, wishing we had made different, wiser choices over the years, choices that perhaps would have created a different and better life for ourselves.

It’s human nature to want what we don’t have, to be something that we’re not, or to not be something that we are. We can spend our lives wishing, wanting, whining, or even regretting why our lives aren’t what we want them to be. The truth is though, our lives are not getting longer, they’re getting shorter. There’s a verse in the Bible in James: 4:14 that states:

…you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”

Now is the time to wake up and take notice. Now is the time to make a plan, strategize and make the most of our lives. Hence, this little series on “How to avoid a Life of Regret.” It’s important that we wake up now and make the most of what we have starting today. With this in mind, here’s the first way to avoid regret, and it’s a biggie…

Take meticulous care of your own grass!

If the grass is always greener, then what are we doing about our lawn?

It’s so true, and so easy to look over and see that healthy, green grass of our neighbor’s, taunting us, drawing us, so alluring and perfect. It’s almost as if that remarkable “grass” across the way is a constant reminder of what we’re not, or what we don’t have. And of course, it ALWAYS looks greener.

But why is that? How come what other’s have always seems better? Why is our neighbor’s lawn so seemingly green and perfectly manicured?

Well, in my opinion, there are two important reasons why the “grass is always greener.” Actually, there are probably more than two reasons, but I’m only going to discuss two here. The two that we really need to understand for ourselves to avoid regret.

Why our neighbor’s lawn looks better than ours

1. We’re not looking at our neighbor’s grass up close.
2. Our neighbor takes really good care of his grass.

This little example may sound overly simplistic, but I’ve found that in life – dealing with friends and clients alike (as well as with my own issues), that simple truths can be just as valid and transcendent as the complex ones. Simple analogies and metaphors penetrate our hard heads far better. Anyway, back to the point of the “grass.”

Green Grass at a distance

The simple truth is, what we see from a distance is not always what it is up close. Sometimes things are as they appear, but many times they are not. Just to give you an example, have you ever looked at a painting from a distance and been able to see a complete beautiful picture, but then when viewing it up close, it almost appeared completely different? From a distance, it looks complete and even beautiful, but up close you see all of the smudges and squiggly lines and even imperfections, much of which is done in such a way to create an illusion of beauty from a distance.

In like manner, many people appear on the outside to be well put together, put on a “good face” and are impressive. They carefully construct the “yard” of their lives in hopes of creating an impressive façade for those who drive by. The key here though, is not stopping and looking too closely, or we may actually start to see the imperfections of that “greener” yard.

My point here is this, Yes, the grass may be greener, but that’s only because we’re not really seeing it up close. If we really were able to get a good look, we’d see the weeds, the insects, and the imperfections. Let’s not forget this, when coveting our neighbor’s lawn.

Knowing how to keep the grass green

On the other hand, our neighbor may be right on target with his “green grass.” Maybe his grass really is greener, because the owner of the grass really knows his stuff and is tending to his lawn the right way – in an effective manner. His yard is a lush green because he knows how to keep it that way.

It is true, some people really have their act together. It’s not difficult to find others that are more successful, attractive, happier and wealthier than we are. Some things we cannot change and need to accept. But many things we can change. This is where our focus needs to lie – not on the things that we cannot control, but rather on the things that we can.

It may be that our neighbor has an entirely different kind of grass than what we have planted in our own yard, a type that is by nature a more lush shade of green. Perhaps this is something that cannot be changed. However, the question that we must each ask ourselves is this-

“What am I doing to maximize the beauty of my own lawn?”

We can spend all of our time admiring other people’s lives, even living vicariously through others, making excuses and giving an extended list of reasons why our lawns are brown, dried up and full of weeds.

Today, not tomorrow, but today, let’s all take a long, hard look at our own grass, our own yard, yes, our own lives. Today is the time to start meticulously, seeding, watering, cutting, manicuring and fertilizing the grass of our lives. We too can achieve that lush, rich green color and texture that we all desire.

Stay tuned for the second tip on “How to Avoid Regret” on procrastination. As always, feel free to leave your comments and suggestions. If you need personal coaching or help, contact me HERE.

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]]> http://rickosborn.com/avoid-regret-make-your-grass-green/feed/ 1 balance,change,encouragement,happiness,inspiration,ministry,proper balance,regret,success Here is Tip #1 on How to avoid a life of regret - making your own grass green. Here is Tip #1 on How to avoid a life of regret - making your own grass green. Rick Osborn clean 8:16 http://rickosborn.com/balanced-life-healthy-life/ http://rickosborn.com/balanced-life-healthy-life/#comments Wed, 20 Oct 2010 13:55:16 +0000 Rick Osborn http://rickosborn.com/?p=567 Over the past few years, I’ve counseled numerous people regarding weight loss, proper nutrition, fitness and general well-being. It’s interesting, because as I delve deeper into the lives of people, I find a general undercurrent of worry, fear and frustration manifesting itself in many physical, emotional and even spiritual ways. At the core of many is a lack of balance in life. And, in the midst of trying to help others, I found that the very same issue was plaguing me as well. While I’m quite thankful for the nutritional, dietary and fitness wisdom I now have, I feel that it’s important to mention a hard lesson that I learned in the process – how crucial it is to have balance in one’s life.

Managing Stress

Stress kills. But before it does so, it will knock your life out of whack. In my case, in the midst of striving to learn to be a fit and healthy person – I severely neglected the mental, emotional and spiritual side of the equation. I was eating right for health, but was not properly nurturing my soul. I soon found myself overstressed, anxious and quite literally, out of balance. I constantly felt physically ill and soon found myself worrying and stressed about everything – namely work, relationships with others AND my health. It seemed that my life was spinning out of control. The interesting thing is that the more I tried to control it – the worse it got and the worse I felt. I adjusted my diet a hundred different ways; I increased and changed the dietary supplements I was taking; I did research, perusing the internet looking for solutions for everything, including work and my health; I went to the doctor repeatedly to find out what was wrong with me; and I’m even ashamed to say, I began drinking a glass or two of wine in the evenings just to relax (which I rarely did before). Ultimately, I developed a very severe case of gastritis that was misdiagnosed, resulting in a lot of pain and unnecessary intestinal surgery.

I tell you all of this to demonstrate how lack of balance in my life completely threw things out of whack and caused me a lot of sickness, pain, worry and frustration. In case you didn’t get it,

Life without Proper Balance Isn’t Healthy Living

Life IS a juggling act. And quite frankly, most of us are NOT very good jugglers. I know I wasn’t. In the midst of my attempts, I was dropping things left and right. No matter how hard I tried to fix things, they continued to get worse and I just got sicker and more frustrated. I was missing the big picture. For those of you who are visual, look at this diagram that I created below, which I believe to represent proper balance in life:

Ideally, this is where we should be – having proper balance in life between these three main areas (Body, Mind, Soul). Imagine the above as a wheel that rolls perfectly, because all areas are in balance. If you were able to inflate or deflate one of the above areas, indicating a lack of balance, the wheel would cease to roll smoothly.

Many of us, due to neglect to our “life circle of balance”, if you will, have a deflated ball or circle, basically like what you see below – deflated, unfulfilled (lacks air or inspiration) and won’t roll or bounce. Take a look:

What you see above was representative of my life a few years ago. To put it simply, when you have a life out of balance, chances are some or many of the following issues may describe what you will experience:

• Poor health, malaise or sickness (headaches, nausea, acid stomach, ulcers, or worse)
• Anxiety or Panic
• Obesity, weight gain or even weight loss
• Insomnia or perhaps you sleep too much
• Relationship problems (have trouble relating to others)
• Depression
• Self-doubt

These are but a few symptoms of a life out of balance. And, if your personal life balance is representative of the deflated, uninspired diagram above, just imagine how it must affect everything in your life.

If your life is like mine was, like the above wheel or ball that won’t roll or bounce, here are three fundamental things to remember that may help inspire you. They are not so much about action as they are about your perspective. You may not be able to change your situation right away, but these may actually add some air (inspiration) to your life (tire, ball, wheel) so that it at least keeps rolling forward:

1. Stop focusing on your problems and worrying yourself sick about them. Worrying will not change one thing about your situation, in fact, it will only make it worse. Here’s what Christ Himself said about it in Matthew 6:27 – “And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life?”
2. Change what you can. Ok, so you can’t control everything, but there are things about your life that you can control. Many times in life we obsess and worry about things over which we have no control. Stop doing that and refocus on what you CAN control and change.
3. Focus on the good, the positive, the right things about your life. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is from Philippians 4:8-9, ” Whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]. Practice this and the God of peace (of untroubled, undisturbed well-being) will be with you.”

If you practice the above three suggestions, your ball will begin rolling in no time. Meanwhile, keep working on solving the problems in your life.

Before you know it, balance will return and success, renewal and joy will abound.

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]]> http://rickosborn.com/balanced-life-healthy-life/feed/ 5 advice,anxiety,balance,change,despair,dysfunction,encouragement,guidance,happiness,health,problems,success "These are a few symptoms of a life out of balance. And, if your personal life balance is representative of the deflated, uninspired diagram above, just imagine how it must affect everything in your life. Here's what you can do to help . . ." "These are a few symptoms of a life out of balance. And, if your personal life balance is representative of the deflated, uninspired diagram above, just imagine how it must affect everything in your life. Here's what you can do to help . . ." Rick Osborn clean 8:17 http://rickosborn.com/faith-coaching/ http://rickosborn.com/faith-coaching/#comments Fri, 17 Sep 2010 14:42:32 +0000 Rick Osborn http://rickosborn.com/?p=1679 Inevitably, over the span of a client relationship in the coaching process, the topic of faith comes to the forefront. As an executive coach, wellness consultant and mentor, I never force my faith in God upon anyone. But, the truth is that I am a Christian, and without judgment, principles of the Christian faith are interwoven into my coaching strategy and style. I do not label myself as a “Christian Coach,” however, I do acknowledge the power and importance of faith in God in the life of a person seeking true direction, redemption and resolution in life.

Why people Hire me as a Coach

Most people contract with me as a Coach and Mentor out of a need to find solutions for some type of problem, crisis, pain or challenge. They seek to find meaning, motivation, accountability, resolution, success and renewal without the stigma of “seeing a therapist” or the formality of a church setting. They desire a safe and confidential environment where they are free to express the issues at hand. Below are some examples of why people seek me out as a coach:

• To conquer a secret personal issue
• For conflict resolution involving work, family or a friend
• Spiritual counseling
• Solutions for weight loss
• Help with diet and nutrition
• Overcoming Anxiety issues
• Help finding balance and wellness for life
• To learn how to cope with Stress at work and at home
• For help overcoming Midlife Crisis

A God-shaped hole

While the above are valid reasons for entering a coaching relationship, there often seems to be a deeper reason for seeking out a coach, counselor, minister or mentor for help. Many usually feel that there is simply something (that they often cannot explain) that is missing in their lives. It is my fervent belief that we all are born with a “God-shaped” hole in our hearts. Unfortunately, many wander through life searching to fill this emptiness in the wrong places and with wrong things. Most will probably admit that “faith” is something important, but attempt to define it according to their own terms, devoid of the power of a God relationship. In my opinion, a life without the powerful wind of true faith in Christ is a life that will never achieve true joy, fulfillment and potential. This doesn’t discount the power of using a secular coaching approach to help one move through difficult issues and find solutions that lead to a place of success in life. Even still, it is my belief that until a person satisfies that knawing void in one’s life with a faith relationship in God, he or she will continue to wander in a quiet or resounding quest for a means to fill it.

Some coaches may disagree with me about the faith issue. That is their right. In fact, I know several coaches who are extremely successful and gifted at what they do, who do not believe as I do about faith in God. But still, at the end of this life when all is said and done and we’re facing eternity – there is where the sum of our life’s achievements will truly matter. Only there, is where true FAITH will have its truest and most meaningful reward.

In my humble opinion and experience, a life without true faith in God is a life without real inspiration, true meaning and significance. Therein lies the power of real faith in the life of a successful and fulfilled individual. While this certainly is not the only thing I share with my clients as a coach, it is a vital aspect of a SUPERCHARGED strategy in finding resolution, redemption, renewal and success for a happy life.

What are your thoughts about faith in God? Here’s a simple video that represents mine.

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]]> http://rickosborn.com/faith-coaching/feed/ 4 advice,anxiety,depression,faith,happiness,inspiration,joy,life coaching,peace,stress,Worry In seeking out a life coach, counselor, mentor or minister - many usually feel that there is simply something (that they often cannot explain) that is missing in their lives. It is my fervent belief that we all are born with a "God-shaped" hole in our... In seeking out a life coach, counselor, mentor or minister - many usually feel that there is simply something (that they often cannot explain) that is missing in their lives. It is my fervent belief that we all are born with a "God-shaped" hole in our hearts. Rick Osborn clean 5:15 http://rickosborn.com/being-thankful-for-the-trial/ http://rickosborn.com/being-thankful-for-the-trial/#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 15:12:29 +0000 Rick Osborn http://rickosborn.wordpress.com/2007/06/21/being-thankful-for-the-trial/
I’m just sitting here today at the beach.

It’s early morning and as I watch the sun break just above the ocean, I can’t help but think about how thankful I am, just to be healthy and alive. This morning, God brought some bible verses to mind, specifically from the book of James in the New Testament. After having surgery and overcoming the anxiety surrounding it, I can close my eyes, feel the sun on my face and thank God for my health and my life, and for the fact that the trial is over. By His grace and strength, I have endured. Below, are His words that He shared with me today. In like manner, I share them with you:

• Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.

• Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.

• But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.

• If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him.

• Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind.

• For truly, let not such a person imagine that he will receive anything [he asks for] from the Lord,

• [For being as he is] a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute), [he is] unstable and unreliable and uncertain about everything [he thinks, feels, decides].

• Let the brother in humble circumstances glory in his elevation [as a Christian, called to the true riches and to be an heir of God],

• And the rich [person ought to glory] in being humbled [by being shown his human frailty], because like the flower of the grass he will pass away.

• For the sun comes up with a scorching heat and parches the grass; its flower falls off and its beauty fades away. Even so will the rich man wither and die in the midst of his pursuits.

• Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him.

That last verse is my prayer today for all of those who are enduring trial, temptation, heartache or suffering. We should all endeavor to receive the promised “crown of life” as we persevere through the difficulties of this life!

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]]> http://rickosborn.com/being-thankful-for-the-trial/feed/ 0 http://rickosborn.com/the-serenity-prayer/ http://rickosborn.com/the-serenity-prayer/#comments Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:40:55 +0000 Rick Osborn http://rickosborn.com/?p=750

God grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And Wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to Peace;
Taking, as Christ did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right
If I Surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy in the next.

AMEN.

–Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

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]]> http://rickosborn.com/the-serenity-prayer/feed/ 1 http://rickosborn.com/what-are-healthy-boundaries/ http://rickosborn.com/what-are-healthy-boundaries/#comments Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:09:38 +0000 Rick Osborn http://rickosborn.com/?p=733 Wictionary defines a boundary as “the dividing line between two areas.” Quite simply, just think of it as a wall or fence that keeps the bad out and the good in. I suppose it can be thought of in terms of “black and white,” with the line in between being the boundary. Over the course of the next several blogcasts, I’ll attempt to delineate between the two, but for now, let me try to help you get a better image of what healthy boundaries are. It’s not a difficult concept, but many times, for those who find themselves in a cloud of crisis or despair – understanding, recognizing and establishing healthy boundaries may not be as obvious as you might think.

Boundaries defined

I’m not going to get complicated here trying to define what boundaries are, so I’ll attempt to draw you a mental picture. Here are a couple of examples to think about to help understand what boundaries are. Try to imagine each situation. One thing should be pretty clear upon contemplating each of these “boundary” examples. At first, it seems simple to figure out the boundary or boundaries for each, but if you think about it, each example can have more than one boundary – in fact, each may have several, depending upon the circumstances and the desired outcome.

Example 1. The Island

You’re on a small island in the ocean, all alone and you can’t swim. What are your boundaries?

In this situation (with the desire to stay alive) it would seem that the only clearly defined boundary is the coast or shoreline. On an island you would have the freedom to explore wherever you like, as long as you stay away from the water, since you can’t swim. But, what if there are also dangerous creatures on that island? Perhaps there are snakes that nest in or around the base of certain trees in the wooded areas of the island. How would this affect your boundary lines? Instead of having the freedom to roam all over the island, you’ll need to stay out of the woods, to avoid being bitten by a poisonous, life-threatening snake. Or, what if you taught yourself to swim? How would that affect your boundary?

My point is simple, every situation or circumstance comes with its own set of boundaries. And many times, these boundaries are situational and relative to the person involved.

Example 2. The Recovering Alcoholic

For a person addicted to alcohol or “alcoholic” – boundaries are going to look very different than for one who does not have a drinking problem. As a recovering alcoholic, some of the boundaries may look like the following:

• Avoid any pubs and bars.
• Avoid the beer and wine isle in the grocery store.
• Avoid social situations where alcohol is being served.
• Avoid friends who drink during social drinking hours.
• Avoid those who don’t support your being a teetotaler, who insist on your social drinking, instead of being abstinent.

As you probably already realize, the above “boundaries” can vary among recovering alcoholics, depending upon the degree of wellness and time elapsed. For a ten year reformed alcoholic, perhaps it’s okay to associate with friends during a social drinking hour. However, for a newly recovering alcoholic, the above boundaries must be carefully observed, to avoid temptation, which could lead to relapse.

Whether a non-swimmer on an island alone, an alcoholic trying to recover, or a person with other issues – good, established boundaries play an essential role in maintaining a healthy and happy life. Even the most well-adjusted, healthy individuals have established boundaries in place, whether they realize it or not. Boundaries are an essential part of their achieving healthy balance, success and happiness in life.

Your Take Away:

On a more personal level, what are your boundaries? If your life is currently riddled with problems, distress, discontent or crisis, it may be that you have boundary issues or “B.A.D.” Meanwhile, take the time to think about your current troubling situation. Make a list of the boundaries that are in place in your life. Are they working? If not, then maybe they need to reordered or changed.

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]]> http://rickosborn.com/what-are-healthy-boundaries/feed/ 3 advice,balance,Boundaries,change,dysfunction,happiness,proper balance,self-discipline,success . . .good, established boundaries play an essential role in maintaining a healthy and happy life. Even the most well-adjusted, healthy individuals have established boundaries in place, whether they realize it or not. . . .good, established boundaries play an essential role in maintaining a healthy and happy life. Even the most well-adjusted, healthy individuals have established boundaries in place, whether they realize it or not. Boundaries are an essential part of their achieving healthy balance, success and happiness in life. Rick Osborn clean 5:38 http://rickosborn.com/question-makes-things-better-its-about-perspective/ http://rickosborn.com/question-makes-things-better-its-about-perspective/#comments Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:18:36 +0000 Rick Osborn http://rickosborn.com/?p=613

Let’s face it, we’re all dealing with some kind of difficulty nowadays. Today may be one of your good days, or like many, it may be one of the bad ones. At any rate, here’s a simple little question to answer for yourself that should make things better, if you take it to heart –

Will This Matter a Year from Now?

You see, much of the sadness and frustration that we experience in our lives can easily be overcome, if we would simply and actively seek to put things into perspective. I wrote another article on the half-empty, half-full perspective a while back. I would suggest you use the link and go read it. For now though, as a quick tip to make your life a bit sweeter, a bit more pleasant today, think through the question – “Will your present trouble or difficulty matter at all a year from now?”

If we taint the current troubling situation with negativity and hopelessness, then the answer to that question might actually be “yes, it WILL matter a year from now”. But I believe that if we choose to see the grander scheme, the bigger picture, the good in our lives – striving to put things into perspective, our current trivial worries will melt away in light of the huge blessings that God already has working in our lives.

Your Take Away

Don’t let your current frustration, worry or trouble rob you of today’s blessings and happiness. Seek to dwell in the light of God’s promises, His blessings and hope. Doing so will ensure (or at least greatly increase your chances) that today’s trouble truly will not matter a year from now!

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