Rick Osborn | Life Coach, Nutrition Consultant & Graphic Designer

The question - “When will I be happy again?” - was posed to me recently by a friend in an apparent state of discomfort and agony. I’m sure many of us, if not in the present, certainly at sometime in our past, have asked ourselves this same question.

And, how does a wise person respond to such an inquiry? I’ve given it some thought, and here’s what I’ve concluded:

The truth is that when I endeavor to give wise counsel to anyone, I reflect upon my study of scripture, as God is the author of all truth and wisdom. Certainly He has a fitting answer for such a difficult question. I’ll get to that in a moment. But first, I’d like to state what my mom (whom I perceive to be a fighter AND a happy person) has told me for years, which I believe to be profoundly true . . .

Life Is What You Make of It

It’s true, we all face difficulties at times, especially now in light of the current political and economic climate around the world. Unfortunately, on this side of eternity, this is the nature of life. But, I believe that when confronted with trials, fear, heartache, difficulties, disputes, sickness, despair, disillusionment (Did I leave anything out?), we have a choice. . . we either CHOOSE to crumble or we CHOOSE to conquer. It’s always easiest to surrender, throw up our hands and scream “I give up, I can’t take it any more . . .” And, maybe the answer is that we shouldn’t “take it any more.” The truth is though, we DO have a choice in the matter! We either choose to live the best life that we can live, or we choose NOT to live and allow our circumstances and apparent misfortune to blow us all over the place, making us miserable, ineffective, sorry, depressed people. The problem with the latter CHOICE (and it is a choice) is that we never quite know where we’ll end up and we surrender any control that we have to our misery and sad circumstances. And let me reiterate, the way we conduct our emotions, actions, energy, lifestyles, etc. IS A CHOICE.

Six Tips for Choosing Happiness

In all practicality, let me just get to the point here and give you some tips on how you can CHOOSE to BE HAPPY NOW on a daily basis:

1. Remember, HALF FULL, NOT HALF EMPTY! Adjust your perspective. Every day will have it’s challenges. We need to look at this as life’s daily exercise routine as God’s way for making us wiser, emotionally stronger and better people.
2. Check your moral compass and LIVE BY IT! Filter every thing, every decision and every action daily! (If you don’t know how to do this, click here to read my blog on “Checking Your Filter”.)
3. Make Psalm 37:4 - “Delight yourself in the LORD: and He will give you the desires of your heart” your mantra! You can’t go wrong with this one.
4. Live in the present! When you focus on past mistakes or constantly worry about what might be in the future, you miss living in the NOW and forget to enjoy the ride.
5. Finally, do something good for someone else. When you take your time and talents and use them to help someone else, you WILL be happier. Being egocentric is misery. Don’t forget the Golden Rule.
6. Get some daily exercise! It’s a simple fact that being physically active makes us feel better.

If you practice the above six tips, I can promise you that your life WILL BE A LOT HAPPIER - right away. You won’t even have to wait for joy to overwhelm you.

Bookmark to:

or, is it somebody else’s?

Remember, in order to get your ship moving in the right direction, you have to be in control (standing at the helm, with your hands on the wheel). Many of us are passive observers of our own lives, hanging out in the lounge of our ship, taking no control or responsibility for where our ship (life) is going. That particular situation may seem easy, but in reality it’s NOT where you want to be. You’ll never solve your problems and be the best person you can be if this is your situation.

Let’s take a closer look at this “condition”. And, just for the sake of naming it something, I’ll call it “passive observer syndrome”.

Passive observer syndrome - is a condition where a person fails to take control of their own life, thereby surrendering his/her authority and power to affect change.

It’s not hard to understand what this condition is. Basically, you either have control of your life or you don’t. Either you are captain of your ship or your not. I suppose it’s possible to have some part-time captains in your life, people to whom you entrust control of your ship from time to time. I’ll get into that later. But for now and for clarity sake, I’m going to talk in absolutes - you either have control of your life, or you do not.

Now, the question for you that begs to be asked is - “Do you have control of your own life?” Before you answer, “yes,” as it’s a quick and simple answer, think about it - meditate on it, pray about it. It’s time for some serious self-examination here. Coming to terms with this particular question will be key for solving problems, attaining goals, becoming a healthier and happier person, improving relationships and finding success for your life.

If you discover that someone else has control of your life, chances are it’s not a good thing, even if it’s someone that you love, trust or respect. Ultimately, you need to be making decisions for yourself, unless you’re five years old. If someone is making decisions for you, it either means that you’re not capable of making them yourself, or quite frankly, you’re a dependent person, which can open Pandora’s box of problems. And, if this is you, don’t despair - there is a way out.

As an aside, let me also say that it’s very possible to allow someTHING to have control over your life. You may be saying to yourself, “nobody controls me . . . I make my own decisions . . .” But does someTHING have a grip on you? Again, the question to be answered here is “Who or what is standing at the helm of your ship?” “Who or what is the captain?” If it’s someone/thing other than you and you’re headed somewhere that you’re unsure of or somewhere you don’t want to go, then it’s time for change!

For now, your job is to truly figure out EXACTLY your situation. As Christ said, “if you know the truth, the truth will set you free.”

Bookmark to:

It seems these days that a lot of people are existing in a state of perpetual frustration - always wanting to be in a different place (or for circumstances to change), but rarely seem to get there.

Here are some examples:

• “Why can’t I lose weight?”
• “Why am I depressed?”
• “How come I never have any energy?”
• “Why can’t I ever seem to get ahead?”
• “I hate my job.”
• “My spouse drives me nuts!”
• “Nobody likes me.”
• “Why don’t I ever have any money?”

Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know - Everybody has their problems. But a lot of people are just stuck in a rut. Why is this? It’s even a question that I must continually ask myself, as I try to help myself and others. Perhaps that’s why I’m endeavoring to make my own way with this website and blog.

Of course, we all should be living according to a solid belief system, if we even have one. We should have very specific rules that govern our lives and goals that we are striving for, otherwise we’re like a ship in the fog with no captain - you know the ones that simply get thrashed around in the turmoil of the sea, but never arrive anywhere, except by happenstance.

In retrospect, how many of us spend our lives on that symbolic ship, merely observing, merely hoping that someone would step up to the wheel and steer it in the right direction? I know I have at times. But the point is this - we all are on our own ship (life). The question is, who’s doing the driving? In my counseling and consulting sessions, I find that most people are just sitting in their own ship, waiting for someone else to give them the answer or to even do the driving. Or, they’re standing on the edge of the boat with their eyes anxiously fixed upon the horizon, hoping and praying that they’ll soon see land - FRUSTRATED all the way. The problem is - they’re not doing anything to get to land. Furthermore, and maybe even worse is that many don’t even know to which direction they want to go.

Okay, so here’s my two cents, for what it’s worth, if you’re one of these people. I’ll break it out so it’s easy to understand:

1. Recognize that you are in your own ship (aka your life is your own).
2. Realize that you and only you are responsible for that ship (for your life).
3. Get off your butt and grab the wheel (take control and responsibility for your life now).
4. Start driving (start living).

If you can tackle those four point today, and I believe you can. The rest will become much, much clearer. And you know what? Your frustration will start to go away.

Now next time, I’ll give you my thoughts about where to go once you’ve actually got your hands on the wheel.

Bookmark to: