If It Is to Be, It Is Up to Me: Painting Your Life with Positive Self-Talk

As a life and wellness coach, I believe the stories we tell ourselves shape the lives we lead. Our internal narrative can either limit us or launch us toward the life we dream of. One phrase that I learned from my fourth-grade teacher, Mrs. Stables, has been a guiding light in my own journey and in the work I do with clients: 

“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

That simple mantra became my first encounter with positive self-talk, a powerful tool that has fueled my work as a coach and my passion as an artist. Today, I want to share how this phrase, paired with intentional self-talk, can help you take action, persevere, and paint the life you envision.

You hold the power to create your own masterpiece!

A Lesson from Mrs. Stables

Back in fourth grade, most days began with Mrs. Stables standing at the front of the room, her voice steady as she led us in saying, “If it is to be, it is up to me.” Other times, she’d simply point to the chalkboard during a lesson, reminding us that our efforts shape our outcomes. That repetition etched the phrase into my mind, making it more than a memory—it became a mindset. Even now, decades later, those words are a quiet program running in the background of my life, urging me to take responsibility for my path.

For me, this was my first taste of positive self-talk, and what a gift it was. As a nine-year-old, I didn’t fully grasp its depth, but I felt its energy: a spark of empowerment that said I could make things happen. Whether it was solving a tricky problem or dreaming of who I’d become, Mrs. Stables’ words taught me that my choices mattered.

From Canvas to Life: The Art of Creation

Because I am also an artist and painter, I see life itself as a canvas. Just like transforming a blank canvas into a finished painting, creating a meaningful life takes will, creativity, determination, and perseverance. When I stand before a new canvas, brush in hand, the process isn’t always clear. There are moments of doubt, when the colors don’t blend or the vision feels out of reach. Yet, through every stroke, every revision, that quiet program plays in my mind: “If it is to be, it is up to me.”

Painting demands that I show up, make bold choices, and keep going even when the work feels unfinished or imperfect. It’s not unlike the journey of building a life you love. Each step forward—whether it’s a career pivot, a healed relationship, or a personal goal—requires you to trust in your own power to create. And just as I refuse to abandon a painting until it’s complete, positive self-talk helps me persevere in life, reminding me that I am the one who brings the vision to reality.

Rewriting Your Narrative with Positive Self-Talk

Positive self-talk is the brushstroke that colors your inner world, turning doubt into determination and fear into possibility. When you embrace “If it is to be, it is up to me,” you claim ownership of your story. 

Here’s how to use self-talk to create a life as vibrant as any work of art:

1. Own Your Creative Power

   Begin by affirming your ability to shape your life. Swap thoughts like “I’m not ready” or “This is too hard” for statements like “I am the artist of my future” or “I create my path with every choice I make.” These words echo the truth that you hold the brush.

   
   

2. Speak in Strokes of Action

   A painting doesn’t appear by wishing—it takes action. Replace vague hopes like “Someday things will change” with bold declarations like “Today, I’m taking one step toward my vision” or “I’m building my dream, stroke by stroke.” This mindset mirrors the persistence I bring to my canvas, knowing each move counts.

   
   

3. Reframe Mistakes as Part of the Process

   In art and life, missteps happen. A color might clash, or a goal might stall. Instead of thinking “I messed up,” try “This is teaching me how to grow” or “Every challenge adds depth to my story.” Just as I adjust a painting’s composition, you can adjust your approach, trusting that you will find the way forward.

   
   

4. Visualize Your Masterpiece

   Close your eyes and picture the life you want. As you imagine it, say to yourself, “I am creating this reality, one choice at a time” or “I trust myself to finish what I’ve started.” Like sketching a painting’s outline, this practice builds confidence in your ability to bring your vision to life.

Painting Your Life, Step by Step

“If it is to be, it is up to me” isn’t just a phrase—it’s a call to create. Positive self-talk lays the groundwork, but it’s your actions that fill the canvas. Here’s how to channel this mindset into progress:

• Define Your Vision: What does your masterpiece look like? A fulfilling career? Joyful relationships? Inner peace? Name it, and tell yourself, “I am the one who makes this real.”

• Take One Stroke Today: Big dreams, like big paintings, start with small marks. Do one thing today—make a call, learn a skill, or reflect on your goals—and affirm, “I’m shaping my future right now.”

• Persevere Through the Process: Some days, the work feels slow or messy. Keep going, just as I do when a painting fights me. Say, “I won’t stop until this is done.”

• Celebrate Every Layer: Each step forward is a victory. Acknowledge it with pride: “I created this, and I’ll create more.” Like adding highlights to a painting, these moments add brilliance to your journey.

Your Life, Your Masterpiece

Mrs. Stables gave me a gift when she made us recite “If it is to be, it is up to me.” Those words have carried me through classrooms, studios, and coaching sessions, reminding me that I’m the artist of my own life. As a painter, I know that every finished work starts with a single, brave stroke—and the determination to see it through. As a coach, I see that same potential in you.

Your life is a canvas, waiting for your vision. With positive self-talk and the mindset that you are the creator, you can build a masterpiece filled with purpose and joy. So, pick up your brush. Say to yourself, 

“If it is to be, it is up to me.” 

Then take that first stroke—what will it be?

Lock in that positive phrase "If it is to be, it is up to me" by listening to the audio meditation below:

Ready to paint the life you’ve always dreamed of? Let’s work together to harness positive self-talk and create your masterpiece. Contact me for a coaching session today!

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